Slazenger
vs.
Sheepscar Rams 1
All Fixtures
Squad
FG 4'
FG 60'
Match Report
The Slazenger 3s rolled into Sheepscar for what was supposed to be a routine Saturday afternoon fixture. Instead, they found themselves walking into what can only be described as Police Academy: Hockey Squad.
With neither side deploying a goalkeeper, the match immediately had all the defensive security of a police station with the doors left unlocked.
INCIDENT 1: SLazenger take control - Slazenger wasted no time establishing authority. 2–0. Two early goals put the boys firmly in command, and for a brief moment it looked like the Slazenger Police Department had everything under control.
But then came the first major breach.
Sheepscar responded with four unanswered goals, turning the situation on its head and leaving Slazenger staring at a 4–2 deficit.
The evidence was mounting. The defensive unit was being questioned. Several witnesses were unavailable for comment.
INCIDENT 2: THE COMEBACK - Rather than surrender, Slazenger launched a counter-operation. Bish stepped up with a hat-trick across the game, while Scott, Tim, John and Jack also got themselves onto the official incident report. The comeback was complete.
4–4.
At this point, both teams appeared to have forgotten that hockey is traditionally a sport where someone is supposed to stop the ball from going into the goal.With the scores level, the match was finely poised. Then Sheepscar discovered the accelerator.
INCIDENT 3: THE GETAWAY - What followed can only be described as a full-scale defensive escape operation. Sheepscar ran riot, piling on goal after goal as Slazenger struggled to contain the hosts. With no goalkeepers on either side, every attack increasingly resembled a high-speed pursuit, and unfortunately for Slazenger, Sheepscar had the faster getaway vehicle.
The final score:SHEEPSCAR 17–7 SLAZENGER - A staggering 24 goals were recorded, making this less of a hockey match and more of an open-house goal exhibition.
Despite the eventual scoreline, Slazenger showed plenty of attacking threat and character. Coming back from 4–2 down to make it 4–4 demonstrated exactly what the side was capable of before Sheepscar eventually broke clear.
OFFICER OF THE MATCH
There could only be one candidate. PC Josh takes Man of the Match for an outstanding performance at centre back. Despite what the scoreline suggests he saved it from being a whole lot worse.
